Christmas Day brought me my final little slice of TV of 2009, so it’s about time to take look back on year that was and make some sly, unfounded judgements based solely on my highly subjective point of view. I wouldn’t call the Endies! an award or something like that; they’re more like a nod towards what was memorable about the year. Call it a Highlights of 2009 list, or perhaps something synonymous that doesn’t sound terribly like a  VH1 special. This would also explain the lack of a proper, numerical list or anything else that would be easily understandable for you, my dear (albeit a mite confused?) reader.

Got it yet? Well, no matter your answer, here we go:

Remind Me What I Watched Again?

Why, of course! Only counting TV series that aired eps in 2009, I watched these shows:

30 Rock, Battlestar Galactica, Bored to Death, Breaking Bad, Castle, Chuck, Community, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dexter, Doctor Who, Dollhouse, Entourage, Glee, House,  How I Met Your Mother, Kings, Lost, Mad Men, Scrubs, The Big Bang Theory, True Blood, V (2009), Virtuality & Weeds.

Holy Crapcakes, Batman! That’s a lot of shows!

Yes. May we move on?

Sure. What Do You Want the Next Headline to Read?

How ’bout: “The Most Confusing Show of the Year!”

You Mean Besides These Headline Jokes Right Here?

U-huh.

Cool: The Most Confusing Show of the Year!

That’s better.

And the winner is… badada-bum: “Lost”, season 5. Not exactly a shocker, I’ll admit, and while you may harrumph when I say that it really wasn’t that confusing; it just required your utmost attention. All the time. Which gets tiresome, right? The sad thing is though, that I actually was enjoying “Lost” season 4 quite a lot, and had high hopes for season 5, but in the end it was something of a let-down (if not a really big one), and I can’t say I’m spinning my wheels to get the conclusion in 2010.

Honourable mention: I have to admit being a little bit confused by Breaking Bad at the beginning (season 1, that is, which aired in 2008). This confusion can’t be attributed to time-jumping madness, but rather to a strange pre-conception that the show was a black comedy, and not a drama series (like it is). I think I got this idea from the endless comparisons between Breaking Bad & Weeds, but still… confusing, and not a little embarrassing. No sirree.

The Most Disappointing Show of the Year (is this a theme?)

This is actually a tough category, seeing as I’m very good at dropping shows that disappoint me on a regular basis, thus excluding them from such a blog post as this. For me to stick with you through both the good days & the bad days, you’d have to a pretty clean track record before the bad patch, or be made by Aaron Sorkin or Joss Whedon.

Anywho, the winner is: badada-bum: “How I Met Your Mother”. I love-doveyed this show to bits for three full seasons before the gears got stuck somewhere in the beginning of season 4, and the knot hasn’t fully unravelled to this day, well into season 5. This “bad patch” have also incidentally coincided with the show’s best ratings ever, so either I’m the stupid git who doesn’t get it, or the American public is. Me being me & not a general signifier, I choose to point at the latter.

Honourable Mention: “Dexter”. I loved this show’s two first seasons. The 3rd was all-right. The 4th, however, has been at best so mediocre that it hurts, and at its worst it had me cringing. I think this show has more  than outstayed its welcome.

The Best Pilot of 2009

And the winner is: badada-bum:  “Virtuality”. Penned by BSG creator, Ronald D. Moore & directed by Hollywood big-dick director Peter Berg, this was the little sci-fi show that couldn’t make it on FOX. Again.

Fuck you, FOX. Fuck you most sincerely.

Still, this doesn’t take anything away from the fact that it was a superb pilot with great acting, great ideas & a wholly surprising plot-twist at the end. If this pilot had been reworked as a movie, it could’ve been something really special.

Honourable Mention: “Kings”. I still remember getting chills down my back as I watched the pilot for this doomed fantasy series. Great, great stuff, and “Kings” will be sadly missed.

Best Finale of 2009

If I was a Highlander fan, I would say something along the lines of “There can be only one!”, but since I’m not, I’ll content myself by doing a merry jig and handing out some laurels to: badada-bum: “Battlestar Galactica”.

This pilot was highly divisive within the fandom, but I obviously landed on the “wheeew, that was perfect!” side of the factions. I always thought Battlestar Galactica had a lot of biblical themes throughout the series, and especially towards the end, so that the finale was what it was felt like the old adage about good endings: I didn’t see it coming, but when it did, it felt inevitable.

Honourable Mention: “Mad Men” would be too easy an answer, so I’ll go with “Chuck”. If “Chuck” is a cult hit like Star Wars, then then Chuck’s “I know kung-fu” would be as classic as Vader’s “I’m your father”. Of course not comparable on any level, really, but still. That was some awesome shit right there.

The “From Rags… to Favourite Show of the Fall” Award?

And the winner is: “The Big Bang Theory”. I’ve been on-and-off again on this show ever since it debuted. It comes from the same mastermind (really?) that created “Two & a Half Men”, Chuck Lorre, and it featured a cast of single nerds & a hot girl who lived across the hall from them. Now, I’ll admit that I’m fond of any show that uses the amount of references that this show does, but humour just didn’t sit well with me… until season 3. By now they’ve managed to build up a show mythos that allows for more nuanced jokes that doesn’t make the characters come off as caricatures. Also? There is no error in saying that “Dr. Cox is to Barney Stinson what Sheldon is to the Big Bang Theory”, and that’s no mean feat.

Honourable Mention: “Curb Your Enthusiasm”. When the first episode of this 7th season aired, I decided to give it a go, even though I’d only watched a couple episodes before. Thankfully, this show doesn’t require all that much knowledge to be enjoyed: All you need to know is that the main character is a dick, and everyone hates him, and you feel terrible for him, but it’s still ravenously hilarious. This show had probably the most clever writing of any comedy show I’ve seen all year.

The “Weirdest Reboot That Kind of Works” Award!

And the winner is: “Scrubs 2.o: Med School”. This reboot has no business being as good as it. It should be horrible! It should at the very least be as bad the last season of Scrubs 1.o! But, lo & behold; it’s actually kind of funny. Given a little time to develop itself, it could grow into something akin to good.

Honourable Mention: “Entourage”. What, it was rebooted? I didn’t know this, and I’ve watched every season ever. Well, reboot might be a harsh word, but “Entourage” managed something few shows ever do successfully. After five seasons of “Vince & the Gang”, we got “The Gang & that other guy that the should used to revolve around”, and best of all? It worked! The screenwriters watched their material gowing stale, and actually re-invented it by utilizing under-used characters and turned it into some damned fine TV. Kudos all around, and bring on the last two seasons already, eh?

The “Worst Episode” Award

This is not a fun category, but a necessary one to provide some balance with all the raving that’s about to commence. Hence, the winner is: “Some Other Show That I Don’t Watch”. I think it’s the deserved winner, don’t you?

Oh, Come On. You Have to Pick One.

You’re a right bastard, you big-lettered prick. Okay, then. I’ll pick one.  And the winner is: “That Mad Men Episode Where Don Revealed He Was Actually a Nigerian Cross-Dresser With a Hankering for Funky Cheetos”. I think it’s the deserved winner, don’t you?

I Think We’re All Growing Tired of This Shit

Yeah, all right, all right. If I have to choose -

- You Do -

- then I’d probably land on a Dollhouse episode. All though which one would be hard to pick, seeing as it seldom sinks below a certain level, but has never attained a really high one, either (well, except a couple of times). The pilot would be a good pick though.

And that most recent parenthesis brings me to:

The “Best Episode That Didn’t Air” Award

And the winner is… badada-bum: “Dollhouse: Epitaph One”. I love me big, brainy, science fictiony ideas, and I love me a post-apocalyptic setting. “Epitaph One” would therefore be a perfect fit, and it’s a right shame that it didn’t get to air. Dollhouse might not have been the best executed idea in history, but this one episode perfectly summarizes everything that was good about it, all the while being good at everything Dollhouse wasn’t.

Honourable Mention: Hmm… I’d actually like to name that “Mad Men” episode I mentioned earlier. Sounds like mind-bending stuff.

The “Best Episode That Did Air” Award

Goes to… badada-bum: Battlestar Galactica 4×19&20: “Daybreak, part I & II”, otherwise known as the finale. I’ve discussed this at appropriate length earlier in this post (see: Best Finale), but suffices to say that this episode was more than I’d ever hoped for. I even enjoyed the dancing robot.

Honourable Mention: “Mad Men” 3×13 “Shut the Door, Have a Seat”. If you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about here. If you haven’t… well, you’ve got some telly to watch, my friend.

The “Most Unexpected Use of a Lawn Mover” Award

Goes to… Mad Men’s “Guy Walks into an Advertising Agency”. Again, you’d have to watch it to understand, but I’ll also allow that this episode had the best line of dialogue heard in 2009: “The doctor said he’ll never golf again.” ^^

And Finally, We Conclude This Broadcast By Saying The Obvious:

The Best Show of 2009

Mad Men

This show… is just pure, distilled, glorious extract of everything that’s good about dramas, and season 3 was the best one yet. There wasn’t a single line that fell flat, nor a single plot not properly foreshadowed, dealt with & then executed so exquisitely that I was left wondering if “Mad Men” was on drugs and should be disqualified from existence. From the ice cubs rattling in the their drinks to the subtlety of the characters every interaction, every detail was covered, and in the end, it outshone everything else on TV in 2009. A classic in the making, and an ageless tale being told, “Mad Men” depicts the past in a way the future will marvel at forever. If anything is wrong with this show, it’s that its so peerless that it makes other shows pale into nothingness compared with its mastery, and I’m left wondering if the perfect diamond is really prettier than a flawed one… but a diamond is nevertheless more beautiful than common gravel.

And the “Laying it On a Wee Too Thick, Are We?” Award Goes to…?

I hate you.

I really do.

Some Day You’ll Back on That Paragraph & Wince, You Know

Some day you’ll look back on that headline & remember the joy of cracking wise with a full set of teeth.

Play Us Off, Keyboard Cat!